Friday, June 18, 2010

At the feet of the Math Lord, the Rooster will Crow

By Jacob Gutnicki

The dark prince of math had arrived. Mocha Latte and thermos in hand, Michael Lotta was ready to teach. The students were tired of his highness. Many times they considered dropping a lump of sugar in his coffee just to teach him a lesson. However, the students feared the wrath of the math lord. As always, Mr. Lotta started his class with a 5-minute rant. Today’s rant featured the following pearls of wisdom; “So… I made some more phone calls last night! And you guys think it’s a joke. Well let me tell you something. Prom night is coming up soon. Just try me and I’ll ruin that for you too! And if you’re thinking of spiking my coffee… think again. Ask yourself… Was it worth it? Was it? Was it? Was it?”

The coffee must have been really strong today, as he seemed rather animated. After this engaging monologue Mr. Lotta started teaching us about the rooster method. I thought it was a strange name and asked, “What is the rooster method?” Mr. Lotta exclaimed, “Rooster Method! Rooster Method! Rooster Method! There is no Rooster Method! It is the Roster Method. For if there was a Rooster Method, I would flap my wings and crow like a rooster on the top of my lungs like this!!!”

For the next 5 minutes Mr. Lotta crowed like a rooster. No one dared laugh for fear of what he might do. We also wondered if this could be real. One thing is for sure; someone needs to observe his lessons more often.

BLOGGER’S NOTE: Michael Lotta is fictional. The story of the rooster method is not. It makes you wonder.

Like this story? Read more about Mr. Lotta here.

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