Monday, April 26, 2010

School Wars

In a world so far yet so close, a battle lurks with in, rocking the very core of our community. We always suspected something strange was transpiring at Burrhus Frederic Skinner High School. Horrible teachers roam the halls and somehow superb test grades persist. Millions of dollars are poured into this school yet the school foundation continues to crumble. Leaky faucets, crumbling walls, and trash 80’s are hallmarks of the school culture. Without cause students are mysteriously transferred to juvenile delinquent programs and out of state schools all in the name of propping up graduation rates!

Where are the wireless classrooms? Where are the advanced placement courses? Where is the student government? Why are we still using World Book Encyclopedias in the year 2010? The football field looks like a morgue. The basketball court… What basketball court? Nevertheless, like herds of sheep parents keep sending their students to this beleaguered school. After all… What other school services over 5,000 students? What other school can proudly claim that no act of student on student violence has occurred on school property in over 5 years? Principal Wallstone attributes her success to her policy of the iron fist. For over 30 years she has micromanaged every aspect of the school and the results speak for themselves. However, critics have deemed her methods cruel and controversial. A goon squad known as the “Skinner Reinforcements” squash the dissenters via verbal intimidation and other unscrupulous means.

However, there is hope. A group of savvy parents are using the Internet and other resources to review classified records. They want to know what the designated earmarks are being spent on. It seems that some incidents are not being reported. Parents are yearning for change and their children are demanding a school program that makes sense.

In the meantime, the old guard is up to its tricks. From falsifying reports to faux publicity events, they don’t miss a beat. The principal has also dispatched the use of spies to stop the infiltrators. Spies sit on the school board, Civic Community Groups, and lobby city hall making sure the status quo is never questioned. Infiltrators mysteriously disappear courtesy of the “Skinner Reinforcements”. Enter the world of School Wars! Everything you thought to be sacred is not and that may not be a bad thing.

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